By Pamela Rak, MSW, LCSW, ACSW:

Like you, I’ve been watching the news reports, reading the newspapers, and following web sites on the unfolding events in Haiti. As a professional critical incident responder, I have received dozens of detailed communications on how my “colleagues” are caring for the survivors, what their needs and prayer requests are, and of the great suffering they witness. This is our vocation and our avocation, and these situations are our mission field. It’s what we are ‘wired’ to do…our giftedness. It is the emotional and psychological preparation of skills and strategies that I share and teach through CSN to help churches to prepare for in times of tragedy and violence.  There are times, however, when the best techniques, training, and refined skills include when we have to personally dig down deep to comfort without words.

While at first it seemed so very far away, Haiti came close to my home through my neighbor across the street. Years ago “Arlene’s” parents began a faith-based orphanage in Haiti, and she learned on Sunday that all fifty children, and a cousin who was checking on them, were killed in the earthquake. What does one person say to another holding grief of that magnitude? Are there even words to adequately express what is in the heart? What is her church’s response to her and the community impacted? Is her church communicating caring and promoting fellowship? Does her church have resources and contacts in place to help? Are [they] aware of the caregiver “do’s” and “dont’s” to effectively and empathically minister to her?

I know how to attend to people who have experienced a traumatic event. Many years of the best training on the subject and the continuous refining of skills, strategies, and techniques have allowed me to be at varied locations and care for survivors and those impacted by a crisis in hundreds of situations where people suffer and struggle. And yet, the most important way to be available to her in the face of her great loss was not in the “doing” or “telling”.  The appropriate response was in being present. It was the silent, sincere, humbling, powerful, and practical being present that connected us to each other, and to God. Being there…personally present in the suffering space…has no substitute and in any traumatic event is a gift of love where we can bring consolation and hope. While there is absolutely a place for prepared responses to promote resilience and healing, The Book of Ecclesiastes reminds us to “Let your words be few” and reflect the presence of Christ. It was the silence that allowed the moving through the phases of grief, in her time. It is the silence you can provide to those in your care. It is the quiet space where you can pray.

The powerful events of Haiti remind us of the frailty of our lives and the need to live the parable of The Good Samaritan. We must be prepared to attend to the suffering of those around us especially when a crisis occurs. Knowing when words can do harm and when they are useful help in having effective and healing ministry.  I welcome your invitation to bring both the practical and the intangible elements of the psychological and emotional care in crisis prevention and recovery to your church.

Praying for Haiti. Praying for you.
Pamela Rak, MSW, LCSW, ACSW
CSN Advisory Board

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